Random Thoughts for a Rainy Saturday Morning

I've had COVID this week, and if there's anything that gets me anxious and salty, it's being sick.

Like feverish and can't-think-straight sick.

I hate feeling so crappy that all you can do is sleep or watch Wednesday. And although seeing my attitude reflected in our girl's darkly beautiful and smug countenance is wholly satisfying, I'm no good at not doing anything. Just sitting, relaxing, convalescing? It's not my gig.

That said, yesterday some rain came and seemed to wash away some of the fuzzy, stale remnants of sickness. I brushed my teeth and was able to attend a couple of virtual meetings.

This morning, we woke to the rain falling in buckets, and I was grateful. Grateful to not be mouth breathing or hacking up a lung. Grateful to wake cool and not in a sticky pool of sweat for all the wrong reasons. After relishing in it for a few, we got out of bed, and I took care of the dogs. Feeling a spark of energy, I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.

As I do most mornings, I eat breakfast in front of YouTube Premium, taking in the recordings of political or debate live streams that happened after I went to bed the night before. I watch one, then another. As I scroll through the suggestions this morning, I find I just can't. It's all too much. I've been feeling this more consistently lately.

The feeling that just watching other folks put themselves out there isn't enough. That yelling at the TV or in the Discord or via Super Chat just isn't enough to appease me anymore. Educating myself and attending events, I still need something else.

I'm feeling the need to do something.